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Finding Solutions |
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Finding Solutions
by Ennis William Cosby
I decided to major in psychology in college. My first two years (in college) were very gratifying because of the amount of new material I learned, but it also became the most frustrating and depressing part of my life. College was naturally more challenging than high school, but my test scores did not reflect my mastery of the material. In my major, passion alone helped me succeed, but in my heart, I felt that I was working twice as hard as everyone. I got poor grades in courses that did not pertain to psychology. I would call home after taking a test and convince my parents that I had gotten an A on my test, only to be embarrassed when I called back the next day and reported I really scored a C or a D on that very same test. My confidence in myself began to slip as I became more and more confused as to why I could not compete in the classroom, but outside of the classroom I could debate the material with anyone. This confusion was building up inside of me.
After hearing a story about a friend's daughter [who had gotten tested], I was very interested in finding out if I was really an intelligent student who needed to find a simple occupation.
The happiest day of my life occurred when I found out that I was dyslexic. I believe that life is about finding solutions and the worst feeling to me is confusion. Since I was diagnosed with dyslexia, I have had a passion to work with my dyslexia. I could not wait to find out about my strengths and weaknesses. I grew more rapidly at that time than at any other period of my life. The most important things I learned were the following:
- Dyslexia will never be healed: I must learn how I think and strengthen my weaknesses.
- I will always have to work harder than everyone else in a classroom.
- No one has dyslexia the way I do.
- Tests will never reflect my knowledge or intelligence as a person.
- Albert Einstein, Cher, Danny Glover, and many more prominent figures of the past and present have had dyslexia.
- Dyslexia can be a gift because it helps me have an understanding of my style of thinking.
The first semester of my junior year I registered for five classes, and they were all very challenging. I earned a 2.8 GPA, which was an improvement from a 2.5 GPA. After I reviewed my schedule with a counselor, I decided to take four classes the following semester.
With only four classes in the spring, I earned a 3.75 GPA. That semester was also my first semester making the Honor Roll. The drawback with taking four classes was that I had to stay in school for an extra year. I did not mind because my parents did not mind. They comforted me by saying, "Son, it's not how fast you finish the race, just finish the race with the best of your ability." That made me feel better.
I have a burning desire not to be pampered as a student. Nevertheless, I have to remind myself that I am not like my colleagues and the rules need to be modified for me to compete in an academic setting.
What is important to note is that throughout my academic career I had been an underachiever, but I was very successful in sports. These two forces neutralized each other and that's why I never quit. I did not quit in sports, so I just never quit in school. I began to be successful in academics because I used the same work ethics that I had in sports. I studied with the same focus and desire I used in sports. I felt that I was a whole new student.
© 1998 The Estate of Ennis William Cosby.